I'm feeling a little weighed down by all of the lasts, waiting until I can reach the firsts. Last cross country meet, last cross country banquet, last Halloween before exchange, last homecoming dance, last high school football game, last family Thanksgiving (for the next 2 years), the list seems to build every day. It can feel exhilarating at times, reminding me that I really am going on exchange, but it also serves to remind me how life will go on without me. I normally focus on all the wonderful things I'll be experiencing next year, but there are things that I will miss out on back here in the states. I know this year will be filled with lasts, but it's not that different to what I would be experiencing my senior year before I left for college. Not too far away is the prospect of firsts. Piles upon piles of firsts and that wonderful thought is what I hold onto for now whenever the ending gets me down.
I recently watched a really neat TEDTalk by a women, Brene Brown, on vulnerability and towards the end of the talk, she lets you in on one of the most obvious parts of her research which is that you can't have happiness without sadness. Without any reference point as to what bad feels like, you can't know what good feels like either. When you numb the pain, you also inadvertently numb the joy. I've decided that I need to live this idea out in my life, embracing the negative feelings so that I might have a greater appreciation of the beautiful side of life. Now don't take this to mean that I want to feel sad or angry. Nobody wants that! All I mean is that I hope to face these feelings head on and not try to hide from them, so that when the clouds part I may also look straight toward the sun and not be left hiding from the dark feelings. So though I hold onto my future of exchange to remind me why I'm subjecting myself to these feelings, I don't want it to completely distract me from everything I am experiencing and feeling today.
Can you tell I'm taking a philosophy class this year?? ^.^
To wrap this post up, I'd just like to add how thankful I am to have such a loving family, wonderful friends, and of course Rotary for awarding this exchange to me! Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!
Mary
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Monday, November 5, 2012
The Call
"Hi Mary, this is Sue, calling to tell you that you have been accepted to the program."I am officially an outbound Rotary Exchange Student! I will be living on a completely different continent, not to mention country, speaking a foreign language and assimilating into a new culture for ten months. This time next year, I will not be living in Michigan, lying in my bed like I am now. I will be who knows where experiencing a new way of life!
It feels so great to be able to say that without having to add a "hopefully" "maybe" "probably" or other clause to make it PC! It's just such a relief! Don't worry, my friend Grace is in too! She called me right as the voice mail was ending to share the news with me. I did accidentally fill out the wrong application...(I used the standard Rotary form instead of the Central States application). Thankfully they're very similar so I have most of the information I need I just have to sit down and fill it all out. The first time was much more exciting, but I'll have all the forms made up by the end of this week so it can be sent up to the head guys at central states! Now I wait for January when I will hopefully be getting my country assignment!!
Ecstatically,
Mary
Interview of a life time
Sooooo... Interviews.
I had them this Saturday, November 3rd. My dad was running a little late because he had been on a church retreat and was leaving early to come to my interview. Trying to explain the concept of a church retreat to the inbound girl from Brazil was...interesting. But it helped give me an idea of what I have to look forward to while I'm on exchange! The whole thing went off without a hitch from there! Well, mostly. There were a few questions I wasn't prepared for like "What's your favorite international current event?" uhhh what? They then clarified by just asking if I watch the news much so I talked about some current event stories I had recently heard and stuff. That was probably one of the worst answers I had. They also asked who I look up to and I talked about my parents and then they asked for someone I didn't know who I looked up to. Again, that put the brakes on my thoughts! I normally look up to people who I know on a personal level not a faceless name that's attached to some great deed. That's just me though so I sort of explained that and then talked about some lessons I had learned from people I did know. I was scrambling at parts but my best answers came when I thought for a second and then just calmed down and spoke. That's my nugget of advice for all of you future exchangers reading this!
Next was the parent and student interview which was fast and easy, all the questions were for my parents. Then I left and talked to Grace while my parents talked to the panel. Apparently the interviewers told my parents they were impressed with me so that's good, right? There was one other girl there with us and another one came in with her parents when we were leaving. Over all I think there were supposed to be 6 interviews Saturday and then an unknown amount on Sunday over in Windsor for the Canadians.
After interviews, Grace and I drove an hour down to the state finals for cross country. We missed the race unfortunately but were able to congratulate our teammates and of course take a crack at the all important food table! The team took 5th which was our seeded place, and everyone was happily satisfied with the result. On the drive home, Alex came with us and we made many detours to see cows, sculptures, and grab some more food! We took plenty of pictures on the way as well...
It all ended up being a super fun weekend and I was busy enough that I didn't think too much about the final acceptance for Rotary. Come Monday morning though, that was all I could think about! It all seemed nearly official before the interviews but now that I have to wait for the word, everything is feeling much more up to chance!
Ahhhhh waiting......again......
~Mary
I had them this Saturday, November 3rd. My dad was running a little late because he had been on a church retreat and was leaving early to come to my interview. Trying to explain the concept of a church retreat to the inbound girl from Brazil was...interesting. But it helped give me an idea of what I have to look forward to while I'm on exchange! The whole thing went off without a hitch from there! Well, mostly. There were a few questions I wasn't prepared for like "What's your favorite international current event?" uhhh what? They then clarified by just asking if I watch the news much so I talked about some current event stories I had recently heard and stuff. That was probably one of the worst answers I had. They also asked who I look up to and I talked about my parents and then they asked for someone I didn't know who I looked up to. Again, that put the brakes on my thoughts! I normally look up to people who I know on a personal level not a faceless name that's attached to some great deed. That's just me though so I sort of explained that and then talked about some lessons I had learned from people I did know. I was scrambling at parts but my best answers came when I thought for a second and then just calmed down and spoke. That's my nugget of advice for all of you future exchangers reading this!
Next was the parent and student interview which was fast and easy, all the questions were for my parents. Then I left and talked to Grace while my parents talked to the panel. Apparently the interviewers told my parents they were impressed with me so that's good, right? There was one other girl there with us and another one came in with her parents when we were leaving. Over all I think there were supposed to be 6 interviews Saturday and then an unknown amount on Sunday over in Windsor for the Canadians.
After interviews, Grace and I drove an hour down to the state finals for cross country. We missed the race unfortunately but were able to congratulate our teammates and of course take a crack at the all important food table! The team took 5th which was our seeded place, and everyone was happily satisfied with the result. On the drive home, Alex came with us and we made many detours to see cows, sculptures, and grab some more food! We took plenty of pictures on the way as well...
 |
| My new cow friends and me |
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| Grace and me in a barn |
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| Grace and Alex at the cafe we stopped in! Isn't that tea pot adorable? |
It all ended up being a super fun weekend and I was busy enough that I didn't think too much about the final acceptance for Rotary. Come Monday morning though, that was all I could think about! It all seemed nearly official before the interviews but now that I have to wait for the word, everything is feeling much more up to chance!
Ahhhhh waiting......again......
~Mary
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